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Hello everyone 
Please forgive my ramblings...its been... an eye opening week for me and I have a lot to say/think about.
Where to start.... First of all I am Faraetaildreams...But just 'Farae' works...Beth is my real world name... or 'mom' works too lol. I've had the name Farae online for upwards of ten years now and when I created it I had no idea how fitting the moniker would become.
I am not a practicing anything as of right now. When asked, I will give the generic answer 'I'm Athiest', or depending on who it is, 'I'm Pagan'...and leave it at that.
I've always felt a pull toward the 'occult' if you will. Elementary and Middle School my girlfriends all tried to 'save me' - I'd go to church with them and walk away feeling like I had been mentally violated. Not a good feeling at all. Or I'd question everything the minister/priest/preacher said. High School had me pulling books off the shelves and reading - no devouring - the pages but I was too scared to do anything about it. I learned about Neopaganism in my mid 20's and adopted the label 'pagan' then but haven't really ever delved deep into it other than occasionally reading stuff on the net. I have come close a few times to starting to walk my path, but something always held me back...don't think I was really ready for it till now.
About six years ago I kismetically met a man whom at the time I did not know was a quite Powerful and Experienced Druid Mage. He had been waiting for me to find him in this life. I found out shortly after we met what he is and throughout the years he would occasionally hint at things, or drop odd comments about me, then refuse to explain what he meant. Like how my eyes would change shape and other things like that. He'd drop just enough of a teaser to make me insanely curious for more then pull it all away with some comment about 'not yet' or something similar.
He is now my closest friend and just in the last few days finally revealed to me that I am a very powerful, yet unrefined, wiccan. He knew it from the very beginning, but kept the knowledge to himself until he felt I was 'ready' to know it. I trust him implicitly, even though I'm still not sure what to think about all of this. Makes sense completely though...I felt like so many things fell into place during that conversation the other night. There was a lot more to the revelation and I am still somewhat reeling from as it, but suffice it to say that I need to start figuring this out.
I've always known I was different...but just how was always a mystery. Still kind of is. Some years ago I figured out that I exude high amounts of positive energy, and that it attracts all sorts of 'interesting' people, often without them being aware of it themselves. As a result of this, I attracted another man to me (again not being aware of doing it myself) whom is an energy vampire. He loved/loves me dearly and never physically harmed me but he just is one of those people that drain energy off of people like me. He had no clue about it and neither did I till just recently. I spent the last 6 years with him in a relationship that drained me emotionally, physically, and mentally....but the entire time I was oblivious to it. August I managed to break free of him and the change in me since then has been.... amazing....incredible...
This is probably the fourth or so time in as many years that I have tried to start my path... This time around feels different though. Hard to explain.
My Mage Friend can't teach me though.... something about a Druid Master not being able to teach a untried witch that he used to have an emotional connection with...I almost didn't believe him then from his house about 25 miles away ... will leave details out but he proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt that I cannot only send out LOTS of energy but can receive his as well... blew my mind...
Hope I'm not revealing too much too soon.
I won't really label myself anything until it becomes determined...though he has already claimed me one of 'his witches'. That he was searching for me for years. Many other things. I have no clue about or how to control the abilities he says he knows I have...
I also consider myself to be a Samhain child... My birthday is the 20th (a few days actually), and would have been born even closer to the 31st but my mothers' doctor took me a few days early. Halloween has always been my favorite time of year, I've always felt most comfortable within myself around this time.
Anyways.... I'll write a book if I'm not careful.... basic info... divorced, 2 kids, live in Phoenix, Az, birthday is 10/20 and I will be 33 this year.
Really looking forward to finally taking that first real step ... whatever it is...
Please forgive my ramblings...its been... an eye opening week for me and I have a lot to say/think about.Where to start.... First of all I am Faraetaildreams...But just 'Farae' works...Beth is my real world name... or 'mom' works too lol. I've had the name Farae online for upwards of ten years now and when I created it I had no idea how fitting the moniker would become.
I am not a practicing anything as of right now. When asked, I will give the generic answer 'I'm Athiest', or depending on who it is, 'I'm Pagan'...and leave it at that.
I've always felt a pull toward the 'occult' if you will. Elementary and Middle School my girlfriends all tried to 'save me' - I'd go to church with them and walk away feeling like I had been mentally violated. Not a good feeling at all. Or I'd question everything the minister/priest/preacher said. High School had me pulling books off the shelves and reading - no devouring - the pages but I was too scared to do anything about it. I learned about Neopaganism in my mid 20's and adopted the label 'pagan' then but haven't really ever delved deep into it other than occasionally reading stuff on the net. I have come close a few times to starting to walk my path, but something always held me back...don't think I was really ready for it till now.
About six years ago I kismetically met a man whom at the time I did not know was a quite Powerful and Experienced Druid Mage. He had been waiting for me to find him in this life. I found out shortly after we met what he is and throughout the years he would occasionally hint at things, or drop odd comments about me, then refuse to explain what he meant. Like how my eyes would change shape and other things like that. He'd drop just enough of a teaser to make me insanely curious for more then pull it all away with some comment about 'not yet' or something similar.
He is now my closest friend and just in the last few days finally revealed to me that I am a very powerful, yet unrefined, wiccan. He knew it from the very beginning, but kept the knowledge to himself until he felt I was 'ready' to know it. I trust him implicitly, even though I'm still not sure what to think about all of this. Makes sense completely though...I felt like so many things fell into place during that conversation the other night. There was a lot more to the revelation and I am still somewhat reeling from as it, but suffice it to say that I need to start figuring this out.
I've always known I was different...but just how was always a mystery. Still kind of is. Some years ago I figured out that I exude high amounts of positive energy, and that it attracts all sorts of 'interesting' people, often without them being aware of it themselves. As a result of this, I attracted another man to me (again not being aware of doing it myself) whom is an energy vampire. He loved/loves me dearly and never physically harmed me but he just is one of those people that drain energy off of people like me. He had no clue about it and neither did I till just recently. I spent the last 6 years with him in a relationship that drained me emotionally, physically, and mentally....but the entire time I was oblivious to it. August I managed to break free of him and the change in me since then has been.... amazing....incredible...
This is probably the fourth or so time in as many years that I have tried to start my path... This time around feels different though. Hard to explain.
My Mage Friend can't teach me though.... something about a Druid Master not being able to teach a untried witch that he used to have an emotional connection with...I almost didn't believe him then from his house about 25 miles away ... will leave details out but he proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt that I cannot only send out LOTS of energy but can receive his as well... blew my mind...
Hope I'm not revealing too much too soon.
I won't really label myself anything until it becomes determined...though he has already claimed me one of 'his witches'. That he was searching for me for years. Many other things. I have no clue about or how to control the abilities he says he knows I have...
I also consider myself to be a Samhain child... My birthday is the 20th (a few days actually), and would have been born even closer to the 31st but my mothers' doctor took me a few days early. Halloween has always been my favorite time of year, I've always felt most comfortable within myself around this time.
Anyways.... I'll write a book if I'm not careful.... basic info... divorced, 2 kids, live in Phoenix, Az, birthday is 10/20 and I will be 33 this year.
Really looking forward to finally taking that first real step ... whatever it is...
heloooo yes you are most definatley a wiccan woman. there is no mistaking that. you have a major instinct with nature and animals flock to you. your morphic energy you described to me blew me away and I sincerly hope you are able to learn more on your own to harness it so it is no longer a latent use form of energy but a usable tool. we will be able to improve on it together in some ways but as for the actuall movement and cultivation I think your forming your own methods already and headed in the right direction.